FAQ: Will Dancing Help me Get Girls?

The short answer is YES, dancing will help you get girls.

What I tell people is that dancing well or even decently helps you get your foot in the door with women. A man who can dance used to be a rarity but is now becoming more and more common. There used to be a saying “dancing is for sissies” and now we see these pro athletes like Emmitt Smith winning Dancing with the Stars. So it’s definitely more acceptable and especially with all the dance shows on TV these days dancing is growing in popularity exponentially.

Without even dancing well, a man who has the confidence to get on the dance floor is way ahead of his peers, I’d say 40-60% of men at clubs never have the balls to step on the dance floor.  So if you’re out there, you’re already way ahead of those dudes with their back on the walls clutching their drinks. (What is this -middle school?) Now I’m not here to judge, I’m here to help.

I don’t necessarily recommend learning dance to pick up women. I recommend learning to dance because it’s fun, healthy, sexy and because you love music. If you don’t love music, and I don’t know too many people who would say that then I would not recommend learning to dance. The people I’ve seen learn dance just to get a woman or man normally actually do find a mate, then you see them disappear from the scene.

That’s not to say that wanting to improve your social and dating life is not a valid reason to learn dance. The first time I remember dancing was in my parent’s living room as a little boy playing their “Saturday Night Fever” album on tape. I then starting breakdancing and watching Korean pop videos with my best friend Victor in Middle school. Then in college I was inspired to dance by my fraternity brothers and eventually danced with Kaba Modern, CADC, Culture Shock and others. I will say seeing the beautiful women taking the Salsa class at Culture Shock Dance Center was a definite motivation to start learning. I did however really like the music and the style of dance. What I’ve seen happen many times is people that first learn to dance say to get girls, eventually end of loving it and get hooked.

Dancing does impress women, and as I discussed before often times women judge your bedroom skills by seeing how you dance. My friend  Maria told me just last week that “dancing well makes a average looking guy much more attractive and sexy.”  The caveat is that while you can build attraction through dancing, you still have to have a good personality to back it up. What I mean is, ever since I started dancing in college, I’ve gotten alot of attention at parties, and performances etc. There is alot of clout and social proof associated with being on a dance team. Being on a hiphop crew is like being a celebrity. However as I mentioned in “Advice for Shy Guys” I’m naturally an introvert and up until the past few years was unable to talk to strangers. So even though I had good skill as a dancer, my social skills were poor and therefore I missed out on alot of opportunities with women.

What I’m saying is you have to be a well rounded man. I’ve even taught 2 different pick up artists how to dance. Even though they are very successful with  women, they wanted to be even more confident and they know that often times women will drag you onto the dance floor at Clubs and weddings and they knew that dancing would help round out their repetoire.

Learning any new hobby is challenging but very rewarding.  In the beginning it can be frustrating and difficult but if you stick with it, you will eventually learn to enjoy dancing, instead of fearing it!

Men: How has your dancing ability (or lack thereof) affected your success and interactions with women?

Women: Does a man’s dance ability improve his attractiveness?  Feedback is welcome!


For some of my Best Advice About Attracting Women on the Dance Floor go to http://chihoe.com/instantly-improve-your-dance-floor-game-audio-interview/

17 thoughts on “FAQ: Will Dancing Help me Get Girls?

  • a few years ago I was scared about parties because I didn´t know anything about dancing. If a girl took me to the dance floor I get shock and I run away! So I missed some good opportunities with women due to the lack of dancing ability :(. Fortunately, Now I can dance a little, but I want to improve.

  • Chi,

    I got it, dancing helps getting women, but i like dancing generally. But I got a question. Is only club dancing meant is this blog or do Standard- and Latin-dances count too, because I´m comnpletely into dances like chacha, samba or hustle ?

    • Thomas,

      All dancing works for women, but if you can do actual partner type dances (Ballroom, Latin, Salsa, Lindy, Blues, and my favorite… West Coast Swing)… well all the better, because those take skill, and women love a man with dance skill. Not to say that hip hop dancing doesn’t take skill, but the connection is greater with partner dances.

      And if you actually like to dance, it is soooo much better. If men learn and do it just to get girls, it won’t be long before the women see right through that, and you’ll take a hit in your reputation. I call those type of men dance whores and can’t stand dancing with them. But for those who have a passion for dancing… well their attractiveness to women is elevated, because we can see the passion.

      • Thanks for the response! I agree partner dancing creates a better connection than club style hip hop dancing. This is why I have mixed Salsa and Bachata moves into my Club Dance Lessons and “Dance Seduction Moves”. Most men are just not comfortable dancing by themselves OR with a partner.

        I teach what I do because I love to dance, and I think if more ppl danced the world would be a happier place. I also do it to earn a living and I am thankful I get to do what I love for work. I don’t tell ppl to learn to dance just to get women, because like you said it would be inauthentic. I do think that ppl who learn it whether men or women just to hook up, either actually fall in love with it, or you see them disappear after they’ve found someone.


  • I been doing dance floor game for years now. I have to say as a man. That it does help you to stand out and makes you more attractive to women.

    To be honest…. dance floor game is really good body language and behavior.

    If you go to a club and stand around all night and do nothing then nothing will happen to you. If you go out and talk to people and have fun. Then a lot of good things will happen. Some bad.. but who cares. We are all here to learn and grow.

    Keep dancing cheers

    • Edward,

      Thanks for the comment. I think it mostly comes down to showing you are confident and fun. And as you said alot of that comes through in your body language and or you can almost feign the confidence with smiling and energy.

      I def will keep dancing!


  • I agree that dancing will help a man get girls. Dates can also happen when one is a good dancer. Women are fussy about a lot of things and also on what they wear. Ads on lingerie teddies should be catchy and attractive.

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  • Chi,

    You said, “Women: Does a man’s dance ability improve his attractiveness? Feedback is welcome!” Well, check out my reply to Thomas for a woman’s perspective.

  • Yes it does make a difference, a huge difference. I am a retired professional ballroom dancer. Made my living performing, teaching and coaching ballroom, country-western, Latin and others. If I do not dance then women tend to leave me alone. If I dance and only use a very very small percentage of my knowledge and limit my body movements so I don’t stand out too much, then a few women will ask me to dance and 50 percent of the time while dancing they will ask if I am in the market for a new girlfriend. If I do not limit my skills and dance completely as I feel the music, then it is OH HELL later as I drive home. They do everything possible to find out where I live, sometimes even pass me and block the road so I cannot get past them. When the police show up the believe the woman’s story and it usually goes something like this. “Oh officer he is my boyfriend and we have children together and he won’t give us his new address, the kids are crying every day to see their daddy.” Of course the policeman will ask to see my driving permit and give it to her to write the address down. They have used other scenarios to tell why they have the road blocked, but I think you get the picture. I even got tied up and abducted from a club by six nursing students a few years ago. I was let go after a few days. I have had to call the police many times, approx 50 times, until I learned to quit dancing so well. To get a policeman to remove an uninvited beautiful woman from my home isn’t easy. Most insisted on moving right in for a time period, a few with suitcases in hand, twice it was two women together. The response from women who want a good dancer has caused me to move to a new address several times. I am now 64 and it is worse than ever. Being older only increased the age spread of the women wanting a good dancer and they are willing to do just about anything to get one for their very own. Once they get the best dancer they have seen, they will fight to keep him, literally fight, hair pulling rolling on the ground in the parking lot and all. I don’t mean low life women, highly educated professional women in their 30’s and 40’s are the most vicious.

    Bottom line is, if you want the attention of women then learn to dance like there is no tomorrow. But be prepared to endure at the level which you can dance. All the pros I have worked with have stories just like mine

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