Category Archives: Get More Dates

How to Make Him/Her Smile While Dancing

This is a fun way guaranteed to make your partner smile.. Or you can even start dancing with someone by “booty bumping” them and see if they smile at you and engage you..

If they smile, or turn towards you just turn in towards them more and you can try the same move side to side, or butt to butt.

It’s fun, flirty, and non threatening versus just going up behind a girl and trying to grind of them.

Watch the video here and be sure to thumbs up and comment!


How I Hooked up with the Hottest Girl in the Club

I just got back from my first teaching trip to Dubai, UAE. An absolutely magical place in the desert full of the tallest skyscrapers, fanciest cars, the most beautiful women. Everything in Dubai is exotic especially the women. As an American to see so many Russian, Middle Eastern, and Filipinas was intriguing.

My 4th night in Dubai I met a gorgeous Filipina girl named Sofia. A stunning girl my friend Ryan and I talked to immediately to ask for a table, then Ryan said to me “Damn she’s hot!” The more I looked at her I realized he was right. There were lots of 9’s and 10’s in the building that night but almost all of them were “working girls”. The working girls were smokin hot, but having to pay for some action was not in the cards. Sofia was also “working” but she was selling drinks not herself as a waitress at the high end Club Triology in Dubai.

I gave her my number that Tuesday night, she texted me the next day and we chatted back and forth and set up a date for Saturday. Saturday we went out to Armani Club, had a few drinks and danced a bit, then went back to my hotel and ended up having a great night. Talked some more during the week and saw her again the next week before I left to return stateside.

As I look back on a successful Hook up, I observe a few things I did right.

  • I exuded confidence and high value
  • Was aggressive but  not needy or desperate
  • Made her qualify herself to me
  • Poked fun of her and didn’t take myself or her too seriously
  • Had a good wingman who talked me up to her.
  • Kept her thinking about me via texts and occaisional calls
  • Dancing well always helps
  • Dressed well.
  • I stood out and apart from all the other guys she meets.

All in all if I can pick out the biggest thing I did right I’d say standing out amongst the hundreds of guys she meets every week. As a waitress she works 6 nights a week and gets hit on all the time. She would later tell me that guys always tell her the same thing “You’re the most beautiful girl in here” and sometimes rich dudes will leave her $4000 aed tips ($1100 usd) to try to impress her. (And I thought my $90aed tip on $110 bill was decent!) I never mentioned anything about her looks the first night I met her.
She randomly told me the second night we hung out that I was not like every other guy she met and that’s what attracted her to me. Now again, I’m no Brad Pitt or expert, but the more experience and practice I get, the easier the game gets. If I can recommend something to guys looking to improve their game, I would say make sure you challenge women, and stand out amongst a sea of Average Frustrated Chumps.

I won’t tell you exactly what I said but if you need some ideas on how to challenge a woman; you can start by asking her if she’s adventurous, if she cooks, or as I mentioned before in BE PASSIONATE ask her what her Passion is.

Secondly stand out either literally by wearing something interesting and having a different style, or perhaps have cool stories to tell or think of otherways to make yourself memorable to women.

Good Luck!

Looking at your own succesful hookups what did you do right to hookup or how did you stand out? Pls comment below!


FAQ: Will Dancing Help me Get Girls?

The short answer is YES, dancing will help you get girls.

What I tell people is that dancing well or even decently helps you get your foot in the door with women. A man who can dance used to be a rarity but is now becoming more and more common. There used to be a saying “dancing is for sissies” and now we see these pro athletes like Emmitt Smith winning Dancing with the Stars. So it’s definitely more acceptable and especially with all the dance shows on TV these days dancing is growing in popularity exponentially.

Without even dancing well, a man who has the confidence to get on the dance floor is way ahead of his peers, I’d say 40-60% of men at clubs never have the balls to step on the dance floor.  So if you’re out there, you’re already way ahead of those dudes with their back on the walls clutching their drinks. (What is this -middle school?) Now I’m not here to judge, I’m here to help.

I don’t necessarily recommend learning dance to pick up women. I recommend learning to dance because it’s fun, healthy, sexy and because you love music. If you don’t love music, and I don’t know too many people who would say that then I would not recommend learning to dance. The people I’ve seen learn dance just to get a woman or man normally actually do find a mate, then you see them disappear from the scene.

That’s not to say that wanting to improve your social and dating life is not a valid reason to learn dance. The first time I remember dancing was in my parent’s living room as a little boy playing their “Saturday Night Fever” album on tape. I then starting breakdancing and watching Korean pop videos with my best friend Victor in Middle school. Then in college I was inspired to dance by my fraternity brothers and eventually danced with Kaba Modern, CADC, Culture Shock and others. I will say seeing the beautiful women taking the Salsa class at Culture Shock Dance Center was a definite motivation to start learning. I did however really like the music and the style of dance. What I’ve seen happen many times is people that first learn to dance say to get girls, eventually end of loving it and get hooked.

Dancing does impress women, and as I discussed before often times women judge your bedroom skills by seeing how you dance. My friend  Maria told me just last week that “dancing well makes a average looking guy much more attractive and sexy.”  The caveat is that while you can build attraction through dancing, you still have to have a good personality to back it up. What I mean is, ever since I started dancing in college, I’ve gotten alot of attention at parties, and performances etc. There is alot of clout and social proof associated with being on a dance team. Being on a hiphop crew is like being a celebrity. However as I mentioned in “Advice for Shy Guys” I’m naturally an introvert and up until the past few years was unable to talk to strangers. So even though I had good skill as a dancer, my social skills were poor and therefore I missed out on alot of opportunities with women.

What I’m saying is you have to be a well rounded man. I’ve even taught 2 different pick up artists how to dance. Even though they are very successful with  women, they wanted to be even more confident and they know that often times women will drag you onto the dance floor at Clubs and weddings and they knew that dancing would help round out their repetoire.

Learning any new hobby is challenging but very rewarding.  In the beginning it can be frustrating and difficult but if you stick with it, you will eventually learn to enjoy dancing, instead of fearing it!

Men: How has your dancing ability (or lack thereof) affected your success and interactions with women?

Women: Does a man’s dance ability improve his attractiveness?  Feedback is welcome!


For some of my Best Advice About Attracting Women on the Dance Floor go to

How to Be an Attractive Man

It takes much more than just looks and money to make a man attractive to women. In fact often times you don’t need looks or money to be successful with women. Haven’t you ever seen really ugly dudes with super hot girls? Or hot girls with broke ass guys who drive a hoopty or maybe don’t have a car or job at all?

Women are just not as superficial about looks as Men are (in general). Women are more concerned with how you make them feel and if you can meet their needs whether it be financial, emotional, physical …

So what does it take to be an interesting, attractive man?

Have interests outside of work. Perhaps you enjoy:

  • Nature
  • Sports
  • Arts/Hobbies

Great ways to relate and common interests people have are:

  • Food
  • Cars
  • Fitness
  • Travel
  • Music
  • Religion/Spirituality/Philosophy

The most important skill I’ve practiced and honed is the ability to carry on conversations and tell stories. I learned during my pick up training that you should not let there be dead time or much silence when you initially meet a girl. (It may be ok after you’ve hung out a few times, but the first time you meet a girl you want to really grab her attention and build attraction).

Make sure you do NOT turn the conversation into a game of 20 questions. What I mean is continually asking the girl questions about her and not being able to play off a topic and expand and explore one. This not only applies to when you’re meeting a girl who you like, but anyone male or female whom you meet and interact with.

Now I know how difficult this is for many people especially my students who tend to be engineers, programmers- guys who haven’t had much experience socializing with the opposite sex.

All I can tell you is that learning how to communicate successfully with others is skill that can be learned by ANYONE (just like dancing). Again it takes exposure, practice, experience. Some advice for guys who are looking to improve their social skills is to put yourself in social situations weekly. I mentioned before as a great resource to find people with similar interests. It’s really as simple as going to a Bar or Coffee shop where people are open and looking to mingle with others.

Now I myself am an introvert and naturally very shy. Often times people have a hard time believing this especially my students when they see me dance and teach so confidently. SO my friends, there IS hope, but again it will take some time and effort.

Some of my best advice whether it be to improve your dancing, or your social skills is to watch people who are successful, and notice HOW and WHY they are successful. What do they do? What do they not do? How do they interact with people, what is their body language? See what you like and try to incorporate that into your repertoire. Monkey see, monkey do!


P.S. Don’t believe me that ugly dudes can attract hot women?

Assholes Finish First!

This is the title of the latest book by who wrote the bestseller I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. My cousins gave it to me for Xmas and reading it has solidified a concept I’ve come to realize this year. The book chronicles the adventures and successful sexual exploits of a man almost everyone would categorize as an Asshole.

I mentioned it before, but for the majority of my life I have been unsuccessful with women. I messed up an open invitation to date the popular Stacy Goldstein in middle school and then finally had my first girlfriend during High School. I did not have another girlfriend until I was 27. Even with all the attention I’ve gotten as a dancer, I haven’t had enough game to “Seal the Deal” and close many opportunities I’ve been presented with. Besides the occasional hookup I was pretty “dry” and a very frustrated man for the majority of my 20’s. The past 3 years however, have truly been enjoyable as my skill with women has improved and I’ve consistently had women in my life.

I think the main things that helped me turn the tides were:

  1. The built up frustration of not being able to connect with women, realizing I was sick of not getting what I wanted and making a decision to change that.
  2. Gaining confidence with women through learning Salsa Dance
  3. Reading dating material and trading lessons with a Pick Up Artist/Dating Coach.

I’ve realized that often times successful people are Assholes. Not that you have to be one to be successful I’m sure there are many people who have great success without being dicks. Even though Assholes may have bad reputations, they are the type of people who normally get what they want. This is due to the fact that they know what they want, they go after it, and they’re unapologetic about their feelings.

My strategy for the longest time with women was being the nice, thoughtful guy. Perhaps after you’ve gotten into a relationship, this model may help you keep a girl, but being a “Nice Guy” with girls to try to get into their pants is not a great way to turn a girl on. Girls may want to settle down with a nice guy, but they will normally date many assholes because they are more exciting to be with. (Girls feel free to correct me and leave your thoughts below).

2 examples of encounters I’ve had with women and the results:

Scenario 1: Mai, a voluptuous Vietnamese model with a pretty face and HUGE C cups. I took her to one of my fraternity formals as my date. We were hanging out in the hotel room after the party, and she asked me if I asked her as a friend or if I was attracted to her. I don’t remember exactly what I said but my response was some cop out answer about just wanting to be friends with her. (In reality of course I wanted to bang the daylight out of her). Needless to say, I didn’t ever get any action from Maxim Hometown Hottie Mai.

Scenario 2: Lisa, a Beautiful White Girl I hooked up with after a night out clubbing. The first night we messed around but did not have sex. The day after we hooked up she asked me to be completely honest with her in terms of what I was looking for. I told her that I didn’t see anything long term, but that we should definitely fuck. She mentioned something about how we shouldn’t see each other any longer. I told her that we were still going to have sex and she told me that was “very presumptuous”.

6 months later we’ve been hooking up twice a week on average and we are not boyfriend girlfriend. I’m somewhat flabbergasted as I’ve never had an prolonged FTF relationship. Partly because other girls did not hold my interest, partly because I never had the balls or know how to pull it off. In fact, Lisa has never been in a prolonged FTF relationship either. She’s hooked up with guys outside of relationships, but for the most part she’s been in long term relationships.

Here’s what she texted me last night:

We’ve had a lot of conversations about whether or not it was best for
you to be as honest as you were in the beginning. And while it was
kind of a blow to my ego, it saved me from getting my hopes up. Do you
have any idea how grateful I am for that? If every fucking guy could
be as honest as you, I swear I’d have no problems. Do I think you
could have voiced yourself a bit more eloquently? Yes, but your
honesty was worth the bad wording. Thank you for always being honest
with me. Maybe you should write an article about it.

My conclusion is quite simple. When you are honest, to the point, and ask for what you want- often times you’ll get it! Why beat around the bush and risk the other person not knowing your true feelings, tell him/her how you feel and they can take it or leave it. Don’t get me wrong, alot of this has to do with the situation, delivery, and the sincerity of what you say.

I also don’t recommend confessing your love to a girl months or years after you’ve been friends with her. Let the girl know you like her in the beginning stages of your relationship so she’s not bombarded way later. You could say something as simple as “You’re funny, I like hanging out with you,” “I like you, you’re fun,” or “You’re really Sexy”. Something that makes the point, a bit complimentary so the girl knows you like her without putting her in an awkward position expecting to hear a response of her feelings towards you.

All in all I know and have observed many successful people. Looking into their personalities and lifestyles I noticed that they go after what they want, they’re to the point, and they don’t waste time. Often times they have characteristics of what many deem as “Asshole” qualities.

I’ve come to respect this personality type, and I’ve allowed the natural asshole in me to come out and I won’t apologize for being me and saying and doing what I feel.

Do you think Assholes are more successful in life, what’s the best way to be a success without being a dick?

I’ll see you at the top!


Confidence Dancing with Women

Latest Video:


3 Great qualities to have when dancing with women:

  1. FUN

Think about it, I’ll go into it in more detail soon.



The Secret to Women

I was never good with women.  I had my biggest crush for years on this pretty blonde girl in school named Stacy Goldstein.  She lived 3 houses down from me, we used to ride the bus to school together… you know she was one of those girls you just stared at in class.

We started hanging out in 5th grade, I went to her pool during the summer, she came over to my house sometimes.  I remember one day looking at our class picture and asking her who she would date at school.  She named one of my good friends Sven, and she said she would date me.  I was floored, imagine hearing that the girl you’d been crazy for saying that she would date you!

Long story short, I never asked her out.  In my defense it was 5th grade, and what was I supposed to do-ask my Mom to take us to the mall?  In retrospect YES, I should have asked my Mom, or I should have told Stacy,”I want to date you-how can we go out?”  I’m sure we could have figured something out.

Needless to say summer ended and I never asked her out.  I ended up moving to another neighborhood and we lost touch.  I had it so bad for this girl that I couldn’t sleep at night and would go out on the balcony and would look at the moon, thinking about her, talking to her in my head.  Fast fwd to 7th grade, my buddy Rod was teasing me at school in front of Stacy and a bunch of kids saying  “Chi likes Stacy, Chi likes Stacy”.  My response was defensively “No I don’t!” (The correct response would have been “Yes I do!” with a smile).  Fast fwd to High School I remember painfully watching Stacy making out with her Soccer Team Captain Boyfriend in the lunch room.  Life WAS HORRIBLE!

Years later I’ve since read books, watched DVD’s, listened to audio seminars, and taken classes from a dating coach.  About 4 years ago alot of dating material started surfacing on the internet.  A book called The Game hit the NY Times Bestseller list.  I took a pick-up bootcamp in Vegas for a weekend and learned routines, going so far as to script what I said and practiced approaching girls and everything from my body language, to tonality, physicality, and entrance.

The past 3 years has been the time of my life.  I’ve had 2 girlfriends, and dated multiple women.  I have a sex life.  I’m not saying I am a Don Juan and can get any girl I want, but just that I have alot more confidence in myself and I project that confidence.

The Secret to Women is not learning “pick up lines” or trying to buy her affection with gifts or showing off your expensive cars and watches.  The Secret to Women is to be a fun, confident man, to make the girl comfortable, tease her, make her laugh and be comfortable being sexual with her.

I was out last Saturday in downtown Los Angeles next to the Club Exchange.  I surveyed some girls at the Bar and asked them what guys do wrong at Clubs.  They responded that at least 50% of guys that are out come off as desperate and needy.

Ways to Gain Confidence and Improve Self Esteem:

1. Improve your self image

  • Go to the Gym.  Gaining strength and seeing visible changes in muscle mass is a great motivator that outweighs the effort put in.
  • Get a new wardrobe.  This may sound superficial, but it works for me as I feel more confident when I look good.

2. Learn new things, Get a hobby, and Gain life skills

  • Some ideas are to learn cooking, dancing anything fun or useful as discussed in my last post

3.  Commit yourself to constant self improvement, and set high standards and goals for yourself in life.

  • If you see an area of your life you want to improve, take note of it, and make goals.
  • One of the best things I’ve learned is to not only write your goals down.  But put a date for its completion and make a step by step action plan of how you’re going to get there. Lastly TAKE ACTION.
  • You will gain confidence by making progress.  As my mentor Eric says “Progress, not Perfection.”

Here’s to elevating your self-confidence and attracting the girl of your dreams!


Another resource I found interesting:

Use these moves next time you’re out dancing with a hottie:

Be Passionate!

The more you date, the more you realize what you want in a partner.  The top qualities I look for in a woman are: highly attractive, fun/adventurous, honest/communicator, sense of humor/intelligence health conscious, thoughtful, and passionate.

One of the first questions I ask when I meet a new girl is: “What is your passion?”  Disappointingly 7 out of 10 girls answer “I don’t know”, or “I don’t have one.”  As a man who has many interests-music, dance, women, cars, money, learning, teaching; it’s quite a turnoff if a girl doesn’t have anything she really loves in life.  It could be any hobby or interest, they don’t have to be a Olympic Athlete, or a Master Chef, it can be something as simple as going to the gym, appreciating good food, photography,nature…  It doesn’t have to be something  artistic or super exciting, but just the fact that the girl I”m dating has something in life that moves them, allows me to relate to them.

In life we need something to look forward to, we need outlets for our energy and frustrations.  Some people drink or do drugs, I do drink but my drug of choice is Dancing. It is something I enjoy that takes my mind off my worries and transports me to a peaceful, happy place.

If you already have a passion, hobby, or interest then spend some of your free time pursuing it.  Immerse yourself in whatever it is 1-3 times a week.  Don’t make excuses and say you have no time during the week.  There must be a day or 2 where you have a couple hours to put aside for yourself.

I suggested using the website in my article Take Action Today! It is a website where you can meet with people who share your interests in your city on a weekly basis.  What a great way to meet fun, sexy, social people who you can hang out, date, and hook up with!

If you really have no idea of what interests you try taking different classes- cooking, dancing, singing, art.  A great site to find local private teachers is Read some books, watch some different tv shows, take a trip somewhere.  Do something you’ve always wanted to do.  Talk to other people and find out what kind of hobbies they have.  Perhaps it’s something physical like hiking, or watching movies or comedy shows.  Ask that person to tell you next time they go and that you’d like to go with them.  Try new things, and you’ll get some fire in your life.

What is your life’s  passion?


High Fashion, Low Budget

As I mentioned before, the first impression you make on a woman before you even utter a word is made by your appearance.  As many women know it’s always safer to dress well on daily basis even to run errands then to look like a slob.  Be prepared and be at your best all the time, you never know whom you’ll run into.

A challenge for many guys is finding good looking, comfortable clothes that we can afford.  The best places I’ve found to get great clothing at a reasonable price are:

  • Buffalo Exchange
  • Nordstrom Rack
  • Loehmann’s.

Buffalo Exchange is a place where you can buy and sell clothes.  Most times people don’t want to wear clothing other people have worn  but often times the stuff here has either never been worn, or were worn a few times and were really well taken care of.  They have a strict policy and standard of what they take which is that it must be in style, and in almost new condition.  I brought in a pair of what I thought was a nice pair of Lucky jeans I had worn a couple times..  The  girl checked the tag and was told me they were from a few years ago and were out of style.   I’ve bought my infamous Maroon leather jacket there, a $300 G Star jacket for $40, and my friend Derrick just bought a Mint condition Zara Suit for $29 top and bottom.

The next place I really like is Nordstrom Rack.  They have high end clothing starting at 50% off retail.  I consider retail price sometimes ridiculous, so  at 50% the pricing I feel is reasonable.  They have great jean selection like True Religion, Citizen of Humanity, Rock and Republic.  I bought my most expensive pair of jeans there a couple months ago- I spent $100 on a pair of Citizen of Humanity (retail $200)  and$50 on a pair of Monarchy.  Prior to that I had never spent more than $25 on a pair of jeans.  The  cut, style, and quality and comfort of the more expensive jeans does make a difference.

Spending alot of time in Asia the past few years I’ve bought some knock-offs in China of Gstar and Diesel.  Yes, they look good, I’ve gotten compliments on them and they were cheap $15usd however they fall apart after a few washes.  So spend more  and get a better quality product.

Another place to check out is Loehmanns, which I say is a “Baller” version of Ross or Marshall (more high end).  Similar discounts to Nordstrom Rack- about 50% off retail.  There’s something about Nordstrom Rack that I like a bit more, they seem a bit more organized and well staffed.  I would check out both just to compare.

Another option if you don’t have a budget to spend much is to tailor your old clothes that you wear so they fit and look sharper on you.

Lastly you can check out thrift stores such as Goodwill or Salvation Army, however it’s unlikely you’ll find alot of designer or expensive stuff.  Not to say that you have to wear designer to look good.  When you do make finds at the thrift stores, they’ll be amazing like Suit jackets for $10.

Those are my best suggestions, things I haven’t really tried but you might be able to find stuff on, or ebay.  Also generally online you can find stuff cheaper, and whatever store you like (Banana Republic, Guess) you can often times Google and find coupons and discount codes.  There are also sites like,, and that offer crazy sale prices on luxury items.

Good Luck and Happy Hunting!

Send me a before and after pics of your outfits! (Remember to buy clothes that fit!)


What are your High Fashion, Low Budget suggestions?