This is the title of the latest book by www.TuckerMax.com who wrote the bestseller I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. My cousins gave it to me for Xmas and reading it has solidified a concept I’ve come to realize this year. The book chronicles the adventures and successful sexual exploits of a man almost everyone would categorize as an Asshole.
I mentioned it before, but for the majority of my life I have been unsuccessful with women. I messed up an open invitation to date the popular Stacy Goldstein in middle school and then finally had my first girlfriend during High School. I did not have another girlfriend until I was 27. Even with all the attention I’ve gotten as a dancer, I haven’t had enough game to “Seal the Deal” and close many opportunities I’ve been presented with. Besides the occasional hookup I was pretty “dry” and a very frustrated man for the majority of my 20′s. The past 3 years however, have truly been enjoyable as my skill with women has improved and I’ve consistently had women in my life.
I think the main things that helped me turn the tides were:
- The built up frustration of not being able to connect with women, realizing I was sick of not getting what I wanted and making a decision to change that.
- Gaining confidence with women through learning Salsa Dance
- Reading dating material and trading lessons with a Pick Up Artist/Dating Coach.
I’ve realized that often times successful people are Assholes. Not that you have to be one to be successful I’m sure there are many people who have great success without being dicks. Even though Assholes may have bad reputations, they are the type of people who normally get what they want. This is due to the fact that they know what they want, they go after it, and they’re unapologetic about their feelings.
My strategy for the longest time with women was being the nice, thoughtful guy. Perhaps after you’ve gotten into a relationship, this model may help you keep a girl, but being a “Nice Guy” with girls to try to get into their pants is not a great way to turn a girl on. Girls may want to settle down with a nice guy, but they will normally date many assholes because they are more exciting to be with. (Girls feel free to correct me and leave your thoughts below).
2 examples of encounters I’ve had with women and the results:
Scenario 1: Mai, a voluptuous Vietnamese model with a pretty face and HUGE C cups. I took her to one of my fraternity formals as my date. We were hanging out in the hotel room after the party, and she asked me if I asked her as a friend or if I was attracted to her. I don’t remember exactly what I said but my response was some cop out answer about just wanting to be friends with her. (In reality of course I wanted to bang the daylight out of her). Needless to say, I didn’t ever get any action from Maxim Hometown Hottie Mai.
Scenario 2: Lisa, a Beautiful White Girl I hooked up with after a night out clubbing. The first night we messed around but did not have sex. The day after we hooked up she asked me to be completely honest with her in terms of what I was looking for. I told her that I didn’t see anything long term, but that we should definitely fuck. She mentioned something about how we shouldn’t see each other any longer. I told her that we were still going to have sex and she told me that was “very presumptuous”.
6 months later we’ve been hooking up twice a week on average and we are not boyfriend girlfriend. I’m somewhat flabbergasted as I’ve never had an prolonged FTF relationship. Partly because other girls did not hold my interest, partly because I never had the balls or know how to pull it off. In fact, Lisa has never been in a prolonged FTF relationship either. She’s hooked up with guys outside of relationships, but for the most part she’s been in long term relationships.
Here’s what she texted me last night:
We’ve had a lot of conversations about whether or not it was best for
you to be as honest as you were in the beginning. And while it was
kind of a blow to my ego, it saved me from getting my hopes up. Do you
have any idea how grateful I am for that? If every fucking guy could
be as honest as you, I swear I’d have no problems. Do I think you
could have voiced yourself a bit more eloquently? Yes, but your
honesty was worth the bad wording. Thank you for always being honest
with me. Maybe you should write an article about it.
My conclusion is quite simple. When you are honest, to the point, and ask for what you want- often times you’ll get it! Why beat around the bush and risk the other person not knowing your true feelings, tell him/her how you feel and they can take it or leave it. Don’t get me wrong, alot of this has to do with the situation, delivery, and the sincerity of what you say.
I also don’t recommend confessing your love to a girl months or years after you’ve been friends with her. Let the girl know you like her in the beginning stages of your relationship so she’s not bombarded way later. You could say something as simple as “You’re funny, I like hanging out with you,” “I like you, you’re fun,” or “You’re really Sexy”. Something that makes the point, a bit complimentary so the girl knows you like her without putting her in an awkward position expecting to hear a response of her feelings towards you.
All in all I know and have observed many successful people. Looking into their personalities and lifestyles I noticed that they go after what they want, they’re to the point, and they don’t waste time. Often times they have characteristics of what many deem as “Asshole” qualities.
I’ve come to respect this personality type, and I’ve allowed the natural asshole in me to come out and I won’t apologize for being me and saying and doing what I feel.
Do you think Assholes are more successful in life, what’s the best way to be a success without being a dick?
I’ll see you at the top!