February 1st, 2011 
Chihoe 
I’ve mentioned before that I used to be an introvert or “shy” guy. I’ve always been that way ever since I was a little kid. I tend to keep to myself and even when I’m around a group of friends. Although I consider myself to be a leader in certain situations the Alpha Male role doesn’t come naturally to me.
My advice to shy guys who want to meet, date, hook up with beautiful, fun, interesting women is to go out this week to a Club, bar, or even Coffee shop and start putting yourself in social situations. If you’re a guy thinking “I have no idea where to start, I don’t have much or any experience with women” don’t feel bad. I think no more than 15-20% of men out there are really good with women (Women, feel free to comment!) I’m not really sure why this is, but I think that there are certain people that are just naturals with women, but most guys have to be schooled on it (just like dancing).
So if you’re unsuccessful with women like me 3 years ago I suggest you get an education! Start reading some Dating Material online. I found some great Material from Real Social Dynamics. I’ve attended a couple seminars, listened to CD’s, and met some of the guys from this group. Another fun site I’ve found with free info for guys is So Suave.
I never used to think that there was a science to women, but now I believe differently. There is no perfect formula, but there are definitely things you should do and shouldn’t do with women. I discussed previously that I’ve taken a bootcamp where I used canned lines and approaches, basically scripting my openers, stories, and jokes. Years later I no longer rely on those and feel that the keys to women are:
- Confidence
- Being able to communicate and conversate.
- Sense of Humor
- Not being afraid to be physical and sexual with women.
- Not putting up with bullshit, disrespect and bad behavior.
- Being a Man, taking charge and making decisions.
- Grooming/fashion
I recently stopped dating the girl I’ve been seeing for over half a year. It is now forcing me to reinvigorate my social skills and put myself out there. It’s such a difficult thing to do because our ego and pride is at stake. It’s just not pleasant to get rejected or feel like people don’t like us. What I say is that “Rejection is MEANGINGLESS“. What I mean by that is if a girl doesn’t want to talk to you, or give you her number it doesn’t mean that you’re not a great guy, that you’re ugly or unattractive in any way. So don’t assume anything, more likely than any of those your approach was not smooth or fun, or lacked energy! All of these things require trial and error. Again I would urge you to get an education to speed the process. I mentioned The Game by Neil Strauss, and I think I also saw something called The Seduction Bible that had some great information.
Most of all I think in order to make a change in your life, you really have to want to change bad enough to where you’ll actually take action. Not only take action, but also take prolonged, consistent action to the point where you see results. You really have to want to improve, and make the sacrifices necessary to get where you want.
No excuses, only results! Don’t make money or time an excuse, figure out a way to get around whatever obstacles and objections you have. Is spending money worth you improving or creating a social life/sex life for yourself? Is getting rejected 20 times worth the experience you’ll gain so you won’t mess up when that right girl comes along? My goal is to get out at a minimum twice a week to bars and clubs in downtown Los Angeles and Hollywood. I’m a shy guy, and not a natural with women, but I know that whatever I practice, I will get good at!
Just know that you are a sexy, fun, and attractive person that any girl would be lucky to know/have. If you’re not as sexy, fun, and attractive as you want to be then know that you can get there with some education, practice, and experience.
Again, I cannot emphasize how important it is to get an education, go out and try what you learned repeatedly, and don’t be fazed by rejection, it’s MEANINGLESS!
Here’s to your success!
-Chi
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Good Stuff here. I will have to keep checking back for more information and recommend this site to some of friends and business partners.
You my friend…..are absolutely awesome at what you do. I’m an extremely shy guy with no game or dancing skills what so ever. But after watching a few of your videos and reading some of your comment/advice to others I’m already confident that changes will be made asap. I’ve already started going out more to bars but to be completely honest I have not gone out onto the dace floor much at all (that’s only because I started watching your youtube videos as of recently). I sure do hope you personally read your fan mail and reply back to them yourself. Because you are a very inspiring guy and i just want you to know how strongly i feel about the impact that your advice is going to have on my new life style. You truly are a GREAT leader and i hope to learn more and more from you each day for as long as you continue sharing your tips/secrets with us.
John,
Thank you for your kind words. I’m always happy to hear that I’ve impacted someone in a positive way. I’ll email you in a bit!
Chi
Events and Event Planning definitely relates to the ideas and methods brought up in the blog
This is such great advice Chi. I especially like the part where you say “Rejection is Meaningless”. I totally agree with this, I mean what’s there to lose right? I think what matters most is be yourself and just be confident. Just think about it like this, if your success rate is only 1%, then if you confidently approach 100 women (albeit not in one night haha), then a positive response from one, would definitely be worth it!
I was talking to my friend this week about just how many hot girls we see everyday and don’t talk to them (at least 10). One of my students who is great with women, says “if I approach 10 girls on the street,One of the at least will give me there phone number”
If we really approached 10 girls a day, or even 5.. within a month we would have to find some really cool girls and maybe even 1 or 2 really good matches.
My goal is to become fearless and to be able to approach any girl at any time.
Chi
Thanks for this great post chi, I like you am very much so an introvert, I only ever feel confident if I’m out on the town and get a couple of drinks in me. I am going to have to overcome this as quite obviously I don’t want to turn out to be some raging alcoholic in the process. I have taken your advice on-board and I am definitely going to put your words into action.
Don’t rely on the alcohol, it’s ok to have a couple to warm up but make sure you don’t get sloppy!
Let me know how things go for you, I’m interested to hear about your progress.
Chi
” I think no more than 15-20% of men out there are really good with women.” <' I'm quite sure that he was pretty drunk but that didn't save him from slaps.
Anyway,
I have to admit that starting a flirt with a girl is not easy (I'm bisexual)… but seriously don't just press your junk against a girl, who hasn't even spoken a single word to you (leave alone showing interest in you)
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Nice post!
Where can I find “The Seduction Bible” book you mentioned before?
Thanks
Driller
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